This is my family.

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I have three kids, Alaurie, Braden, and Oliver.  I also have a bonus kid this year from Sweden, Klara.  The youngest is Oliver and he is going to ruin my perfect Christmas.  As someone who does design for a living, I should have a perfectly decorated house for which to bring you a barrage of lovely holiday decor pics.  You’ll think I’m a genius, and Apartment Therapy will post about me.  The title would be something like “Holiday style that brings back the magic”.  But it shall never be…. mostly because of Oliver.

We decorate stockings every year.  Guess which one is Oliver’s?  It does have has name on it, so I guess that’s not a hard question.  I am clearly not raising an art prodigy.  I guess he gets his skill from his father.  There is no question that my own stocking is amazing.

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Want a tutorial on how to do this adorable craft?  Step 1: Whiskey.  Step 2: Wonder why every year you romanticize how sweet and fun craft time will be while your middle child has a melt down because the paint came out too fast and now his stocking is ruined.

We also did gingerbread houses.  Guess which one is Oliver’s?

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Those are bite marks on the roof.  The wall is gone because he ate it.

Then, there is the tree.  I will say that I LOVE my hot mess of a tree with keepsake ornaments and paper garland all decorated up by the kiddos.  It reminds of when I was a kid.  But someone can’t keep their hands off the tree.  Notice the garland all messed up around the bottom.  He fell off a stool he had pulled up next to the tree.

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Also, and this one isn’t Oliver’s fault, but every year the kids get to pick out a new ornament.  The idea is that our tree can represent the changes we’ve all gone through after each passing year.  This is what my daughter picked for 2016…

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Poop emoji is popular with the tweens for some reason.  Where did the Dora days go?

Last, we have a tradition of getting these cardboard advent calendars.  Guess who ate half of their chocolate on the first day?

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I did manage to create one cool Christmas area that is out of the kids reach.

My favorite #christmasdecor. #strala stars from @ikeausa

A post shared by Love Of Function (@loveoffunction) on

Mom 1, kids… 5, but who’s keeping score, really.

One day I’ll have the perfect Christmas decor, but for now I’ll enjoy my janky, half eaten, poop emoji days.  They won’t be here long.

-LOFX

2 thoughts on “My son is trying to ruin Christmas and my chances at internet fame.

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